I prayed.
And I wished.
And I hoped.
And pleaded.
I yearned for forgiveness.
But it wasn’t my fault, right?
I was just so young.
But now she was gone.
Silently like a swift winter’s chill.
Just like that.
I should have shown to the world how much she meant to me.
Because when my grandmother died, I didn’t show sadness
Like everyone else.
I prayed- For forgiveness.
I released a tear.
Then another slipped down my frozen cheek.
Then I really started crying.
“Please . . . .” I muttered, sobbing.
“Please forgive me, my Omi.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Because now you’re gone.”
I knew I was never going to rest my head on her shoulder,
Glance at her ever again.
I prayed- For healing.
All of a sudden, the lights started flickering on and off.
I was a statue, stiffening my gaze around the room.
At that moment, I felt a soft brush caress my cheek.
Inside, I knew what it was.
Who it was.
It was she.
Omi.
And she was telling me she was okay.
That I was going to be okay.
That I was going to be okay.
I prayed- For better understanding.
How could this happen?
My breathing stopped.
I shivered, but not because of fear.
Because of the breeze that went through me
And right then I understood.
Forgotten tears soaked through my shirt.
I knew why I felt another presence around me.
I knew why I thought it was the spirit of my grandmother, Omi.
She was saying good-bye.
I prayed- For peace.
“Okay, Omi,” I whispered, now cal.
“I get it.”
The lights stopped flickering.
My damp face was now dry and sticky.
And I realized- Just as I started crying, the lights had gone wild.
That was her, too.
Feelings of understanding and shock took over.
Happiness flooded through me.
I knew she came to tell me I could move on.
I prayed- For a new day.
I valued this moment.
I would never let it go.
I could never let it go.
I confessed this to no one for a while.
But only for a little while.
And now what do I remember?
The breezes.
The feelings that she was there with me.
The understanding.
The prayers answered by God.
The thankfulness.
And the love that would last a lifetime.
Viktoria-Leigh W.