Untitled
8 05 2008I run outside into
the pouring rain
water droplets cradling
me in their wet arms.
My whole body shaking,
trembling, in the heart
crushing sadness.
Icy cold water feels good
against my red, puffy,
tear-stained cheeks.
Every droplet pounds
on my head, each time
the words play, over, over,
and over again in my head
he’s gone
he’s gone
he’s gone
By Kaylee
hi, this is a really good poem, but what is it about, it goes from you running outside in rain, to saying something about someone being gone.
just wanted to clear things upp! :]
Kaylee,
What a beautiful and emotional poem! I especially love your use of personifcation in the first stanza. You did a tremendous job of using classic poetic devices and repetition.
Keep up the good work.
:0) Mrs. Farnum
very powerful poem. nice job letting your emotion out.
–morgan r
Dear Kaylee,
This poem is very descriptive and deep. We’re sad that “he’s gone” too. We noticed your use of personification and repetition for effect. Our class thinks your poem is fantastic!
St. John’s 6-1 Class
Dear Kaylee,
your peopm was so good. It really touched me in so many was because I also lost someone ans I kept saying to my self he’s gone he’s gone he’s gone. It might have been in your case that you lost a pet or something, but it was a great peom and it had a lot of meaning to it. you should keep writing because one day you will be noticed by someone. keep it up.
from your friend from st. john’s,
MU-SHU : >
Dear Kaylee,
This poem kind of reminds of a book I have recently read. The book is called “New Moon”. There is a scene where Bella Swan is sitting within sight of her house with Edward Cullen, her boyfriend. Edward is a vampire. Edward tells Bella that he does not want her anymore and runs off, at vampire speed, into the forest. This breaks Bella’s heart. Bella runs out into the forest and seems to be running for hours. A search party is sent out for her and when she is finally found curled up on the forest floor she is whispering aloud he’s gone’ he’s gone, he’s gone. Bella lives in Forks, Washington where everyday it is raining. You probably see by now why this reminds of my favorite book. Thanks for the awseome poem Kaylee. I love it.
Dear Kaylee,
I enjoyed this poem. It really portrayed the emotions well. It kind of reminds me of when my great-uncle died. I had felt much grief when my mom told me. He had been a very kind person to everyone he met, so when he died, so did a part of everyone who had ever known him. It was such a “heart crushing sadness,” for my family at that time, and this poem really reminded me of that.
You did a great job Kaylee, keep on writing.
PiRsquared
Great poem i thought it was very emotional and you did a good job of putting alot of sadness and emotion in your poem.
From,
BLAKEUMS!
Dear Kaylee,
WOW! This poem is sooooooo good and very deep….. I love it; it’s a great way to express your emotions and very powerful. I get the whole concept of it… the whole he’s gone thing; ya I get it.
-JDluver <333
Kaylee,
This is one of the deepest and most amazing poems that I have ever read, this poem is better than multiple famous poems. You have talent.
UNBELIEVABLE.
Dear Kaylee,
Your poem is one of the most unbelievable poems i have ever read. You used a great amount of personification and you really used descriptive language. Your writing is very pure and it leaves a nice message. Also, way to use repetition.
WOW! That was ssssssssssssssoooooooooooooo great! You are such a talented writer and I hope that you keep doing it. There was a lot of emotion and it made me feel as is I was standing next to you watching all of this happening. WOW!!!!!
Dear Kaylee,
Your poem was so strong. There weren’t many words, but it got across very strong to me. I especially liked the lines, “water droplets cradling
me in their wet arms.” Great job and keep writing.
-sftblluva3/SMS 3
OMG you rocked that poem! Being an avid writer and reader, I can honestly say you have talent more than you know! I’ve lost someone I loved in my life as well so I know how you feel as the world seems like it’s coming to an end and all you can think about is he’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone. The repetition really brought your point and sums it up perfectly. Mourning a loved one is something everyone will go through, and I think your rain droplet tears described the pain perfectly. Wonderful Job!
XOXO,
Gracie
Kaylee,
This poem was absolutely amazing. I loved it! It was soooo deep and sooo pretty :] Keep up the awesome work!
XOXOXOXOXO,
Rachel
Dear Kaylee,
Your poem is great! Just from reading this you can feel the emotion and heart you put into this. When you said “Every droplet pounds
on my head, each time. the words play, over, over, and over again in my head he’s gone” I felt all the hurt and pain you went through. This poem was touching! Keep it up!
- em