Comments for Marla Austin Poems 2007-08 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin TLW 2008 Poetry Slam Blog Thu, 08 Jan 2009 12:31:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 Comment on In My Dogs Eyes by stu031 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/in-my-dogs-eyes/#comment-344 stu031 Thu, 22 May 2008 00:41:47 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/in-my-dogs-eyes/#comment-344 Dear emily Great job writing this poem. You used great words to describe every look and feeling that you dog gives to you. I can also relate to your poem, i have 2 dogs. The only thing i would suggest is use better words to back up your descriptions, great job though. Love LAXkid Dear emily
Great job writing this poem. You used great words to describe every look and feeling that you dog gives to you. I can also relate to your poem, i have 2 dogs. The only thing i would suggest is use better words to back up your descriptions, great job though.
Love LAXkid

]]> Comment on Camp Out by md http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/camp-out/#comment-342 md Mon, 19 May 2008 20:28:55 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/camp-out/#comment-342 This is so descriptive! You can tell you really love to be there! This is so descriptive! You can tell you really love to be there!

]]> Comment on The Hill by maaustin http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/24/the-hill/#comment-339 maaustin Fri, 16 May 2008 14:12:29 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/24/the-hill/#comment-339 I really enjoyed this poem. My favorite part is "Back and forth, Back and forth, the rhythm of my snowboard." Great description throughout the poem. -Ms. Austin I really enjoyed this poem. My favorite part is “Back and forth, Back and forth, the rhythm of my snowboard.” Great description throughout the poem.

-Ms. Austin

]]> Comment on Without A Paddle by maaustin http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/24/without-a-paddle/#comment-338 maaustin Fri, 16 May 2008 14:10:04 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/24/without-a-paddle/#comment-338 I like your use of similes. First you compared being on a boat to living life, and then you compared your thoughts to strobes flashing. This poem really made me think. That is what good writing can do. -Ms. Austin I like your use of similes. First you compared being on a boat to living life, and then you compared your thoughts to strobes flashing. This poem really made me think. That is what good writing can do.

-Ms. Austin

]]> Comment on A Long Day with Dad by maaustin http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/24/a-long-day-with-dad/#comment-337 maaustin Fri, 16 May 2008 14:07:20 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/24/a-long-day-with-dad/#comment-337 I think your first stanza is your strongest. Glad to see you included a simile! -Ms. Austin I think your first stanza is your strongest. Glad to see you included a simile!
-Ms. Austin

]]> Comment on Strike of the Tiger by maaustin http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/strike-of-the-tiger/#comment-336 maaustin Fri, 16 May 2008 14:05:48 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/strike-of-the-tiger/#comment-336 You really changed and improved this when you cut out the unnecessary language. :) -Ms. Austin You really changed and improved this when you cut out the unnecessary language. :)

-Ms. Austin

]]> Comment on Winter Time by maaustin http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/winter-time/#comment-335 maaustin Fri, 16 May 2008 14:04:37 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/winter-time/#comment-335 Your first stanza is my favorite. I like the word winter on its own in the last line. -Ms. Austin Your first stanza is my favorite. I like the word winter on its own in the last line.

-Ms. Austin

]]> Comment on There’s Always a First Time for Anything by maaustin http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/theres-always-a-first-time-for-anything/#comment-334 maaustin Fri, 16 May 2008 14:02:50 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/theres-always-a-first-time-for-anything/#comment-334 I really like your first three stanzas. I think when you 'cut to the bone,' you did a great job. Also, having the 3rd stanza as just one line really works well. -Ms. Austin I really like your first three stanzas. I think when you ‘cut to the bone,’ you did a great job. Also, having the 3rd stanza as just one line really works well.

-Ms. Austin

]]> Comment on Little Brother by maaustin http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/little-brother/#comment-333 maaustin Fri, 16 May 2008 13:59:51 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/little-brother/#comment-333 I like your use of the three periods... It makes me read it differently. I like the rhythm it creates. -Ms. Austin I like your use of the three periods… It makes me read it differently. I like the rhythm it creates.
-Ms. Austin

]]> Comment on MESSY CLOSET by stu031 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/messy-closet/#comment-332 stu031 Fri, 16 May 2008 00:30:08 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/maaustin/2008/03/25/messy-closet/#comment-332 Dear Tammie, I liked your poem it was a little short but it was still amazing. I liked how you put the ending in bold. It really brought out your meaning of it. Do you ever get in trouble for a messy closet? I usually throw a lot of stuff out that is in it too. Great job. LAXkid Dear Tammie,
I liked your poem it was a little short but it was still amazing. I liked how you put the ending in bold. It really brought out your meaning of it. Do you ever get in trouble for a messy closet? I usually throw a lot of stuff out that is in it too. Great job.
LAXkid

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