A Place Not So Long Before
A place not so long before
With towering silver gates
And a gilded door.
In this garden extravaganza
Sunflowers taking sun’s place
This embellished bonanza.
A safe haven for those of great tragedies
A balmy spring wind
Buzzing with bees.
I had felt the rays hot upon my back
As I meandered through the flowers
I found nothing was black.
I felt found
Not lost
So I made no sound.
I did not want to wake
From this dream
As I dipped in the lake.
This is a place where no wrong is done.
As I laid in the dream
Under that imaginary sun.
Writeheart
June 5th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Dear Writeheart,
This poem is packed with sensory images. My favorite stanza is “I did not want to wake from this dream as I dipped in the lake.” This is a summer poem inspired by Maine Vacationland! Your last stanza leaves the reader with a feeling of warmth and relaxation. Your poetry evokes feelings and is skillfully written. Keep up the great work.
Mrs. A
June 6th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Dear Writeheart,
Awesome job!!!! Your intense word choice in “A Place Not So Long Ago,” like with “As I meandered through the flowers,” was astounding. “As I dipped in the lake,” connects with my Aunt’s camp, where it seems like war doesn’t exist. Your voice, “In this garden extravaganza, Sunflowers taking sun’s place, This embellished bonanza,” was astounding in this poem. It shows your awesome voice.
Sincerely,
Salt and Pepper
SMS-2
6/9/08