Comments for Mrs. Allen's Poetry Slam Blog http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen TLW 2008 Poetry Slam Blog Thu, 08 Jan 2009 13:36:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 Comment on The Guide to Heaven by stu032 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/18/the-guide-to-heaven/#comment-554 stu032 Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:26:52 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/18/the-guide-to-heaven/#comment-554 Dear gatorfan15, Your poem "The Guide to Heaven" was absolutely fantastic. You used great imagery and you grabbed my attention i especially liked the line "Showing them that their departed Loved ones are watching over them." That is totally true and that is how some people get through dealing with a lose. Great job! ~SoftbalQT SMS 6-10-08 Dear gatorfan15,
Your poem “The Guide to Heaven” was absolutely fantastic. You used great imagery and you grabbed my attention i especially liked the line “Showing them that their departed
Loved ones are watching over them.” That is totally true and that is how some people get through dealing with a lose. Great job!
~SoftbalQT SMS 6-10-08

]]> Comment on I don’t understand by stu032 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/29/i-dont-understand-8/#comment-553 stu032 Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:22:09 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/29/i-dont-understand-8/#comment-553 Dear Cadoozle4, You did a great job on this poem and you expressed some of the problems and some of the good things that we have in life. I liked how you mentioned what you did like and that you added a funny twist when you said you do understand why your family loves you. Keep writing!!! ~SoftbalQT SMS 6-10-08 Dear Cadoozle4,
You did a great job on this poem and you expressed some of the problems and some of the good things that we have in life. I liked how you mentioned what you did like and that you added a funny twist when you said you do understand why your family loves you. Keep writing!!!
~SoftbalQT SMS 6-10-08

]]> Comment on Words Have Power by stu032 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/06/05/words-have-power/#comment-552 stu032 Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:18:00 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/06/05/words-have-power/#comment-552 Dear Writeheart, This poem was great! I really enjoyed the message that you sent and it was very inspirational. I really like the sentence "Actions speak louder than words? But for that person who heard It burns like they set their hand on a stove. Gossip can’t stop its nasty rove." I never thought of it like that. Super Job! ~softbalQT SMS 6-10-08 Dear Writeheart,
This poem was great! I really enjoyed the message that you sent and it was very inspirational. I really like the sentence “Actions speak louder than words? But for that person who heard It burns like they set their hand on a stove. Gossip can’t stop its nasty rove.” I never thought of it like that. Super Job!
~softbalQT SMS 6-10-08

]]> Comment on Kindness, A Simple Thing in Life by Anonymous http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/06/kindness-a-simple-thing-in-life-2/#comment-551 Anonymous Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:51:21 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/06/kindness-a-simple-thing-in-life-2/#comment-551 Dear surflax5, "Kindness, A Simple Thing in Life"had many good examples of easy ways to be kind to others. It shows hope simple being kind is and that it shouldn't be that hard. It was smart how you used repeated your first sentence as your last sentence. This poem had a great sense of voice in it. It sounds like someone is reading it to you. Amazing job! Truly, Freaky Styley SMS 2 6/10/08 Dear surflax5,

“Kindness, A Simple Thing in Life”had many good examples of easy ways to be kind to others. It shows hope simple being kind is and that it shouldn’t be that hard. It was smart how you used repeated your first sentence as your last sentence. This poem had a great sense of voice in it. It sounds like someone is reading it to you. Amazing job!

Truly,
Freaky Styley SMS 2 6/10/08

]]> Comment on The Treasured Ruby by Anonymous http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/07/the-treasured-ruby/#comment-550 Anonymous Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:43:23 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/07/the-treasured-ruby/#comment-550 Dear sftblluva3, "The Treasured Ruby" was filled with information about the gem. It gave personality traits to the stone. One line I liked particularly was, "A stone of magical powers Even a cure for indigestion." I liked this line because it had an amazing ironic twist. It was funny how it was used for curing indigestion. Not only did you describe the uses of the Ruby, but you also wrote about its beauty. Your poem was very well-balanced. Excellent writing! Truly, Freaky Styley SMS 2 6/9/08 Dear sftblluva3,

“The Treasured Ruby” was filled with information about the gem. It gave personality traits to the stone. One line I liked particularly was, “A stone of magical powers Even a cure for indigestion.” I liked this line because it had an amazing ironic twist. It was funny how it was used for curing indigestion. Not only did you describe the uses of the Ruby, but you also wrote about its beauty. Your poem was very well-balanced. Excellent writing!

Truly,
Freaky Styley SMS 2 6/9/08

]]> Comment on The Healthy Tree by Anonymous http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/12/the-healthy-tree/#comment-549 Anonymous Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:34:07 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/12/the-healthy-tree/#comment-549 Dear sftblluva3, Your poem, "The Healthy Tree" had a strong sense of imagery. The line, "Swayed in the wind" paints a vivid picture in my head. You explained what a healthy tree symbolizes very well in your poem. You also made an excellent connection between the tree's life and the person's life. Good job! Sincerely, Freaky Styley SMS 2 6/9/08 Dear sftblluva3,

Your poem, “The Healthy Tree” had a strong sense of imagery. The line, “Swayed in the wind” paints a vivid picture in my head. You explained what a healthy tree symbolizes very well in your poem. You also made an excellent connection between the tree’s life and the person’s life. Good job!

Sincerely,
Freaky Styley SMS 2 6/9/08

]]> Comment on Physical Chess by stu032 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/22/physical-chess/#comment-548 stu032 Tue, 10 Jun 2008 11:47:39 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/22/physical-chess/#comment-548 Dear DisengagE, Your poem, “Physical Chess,” was extremely cool. You showed great word choice, “Your ego took a plunge!” You had an interesting and unique voice, “Advance, advance, advance, The swashbuckling dance, Retreat, retreat, retreat.” You also had a wonderful tone, “Retreat, LUNGE!” You did a awesome job! Sincerely, Salt and Pepper SMS-2 6/10/08 Dear DisengagE,

Your poem, “Physical Chess,” was extremely cool. You showed great word choice, “Your ego took a plunge!” You had an interesting and unique voice, “Advance, advance, advance, The swashbuckling dance, Retreat, retreat, retreat.” You also had a wonderful tone, “Retreat, LUNGE!” You did a awesome job!

Sincerely,
Salt and Pepper
SMS-2
6/10/08

]]> Comment on Beach Haiku by stu032 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/29/beach-haiku/#comment-547 stu032 Tue, 10 Jun 2008 11:46:07 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/29/beach-haiku/#comment-547 Dear ATSSS, Your poem, “Beach Haiku,” captured the true image of the beach. “Course, rough, yellow sand,” showed your wonderful sensory details. You had a great use of a simile, “Crashing like thunder.” “Waves breaking on the shore line,” helped to paint a picture in my mind, which I liked, using imagery. Your poem was awesome! Sincerely, Salt and Pepper SMS-2 6/10/08 Dear ATSSS,

Your poem, “Beach Haiku,” captured the true image of the beach. “Course, rough, yellow sand,” showed your wonderful sensory details. You had a great use of a simile, “Crashing like thunder.” “Waves breaking on the shore line,” helped to paint a picture in my mind, which I liked, using imagery. Your poem was awesome!

Sincerely,
Salt and Pepper
SMS-2
6/10/08

]]> Comment on As Simple As Pushing One From The Stairs by stu032 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/29/murder/#comment-546 stu032 Tue, 10 Jun 2008 11:45:11 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/29/murder/#comment-546 Dear Writeheart, You once again wrote a great poem, “As Simple As Pushing One From The Stairs.” Your format really seemed to fit this poem, “Talk Sprint
Play Hint!
A second step fades into my peripheral vision.” You had great word choice, “How many people does it take to rip a life asunder?” Also, your poem had a great metaphor too, like with, “I slid from the fifth step, and fall back to none.” You conveyed what can happen to you in life in a very nice way. Awesome job! Sincerely, Salt and Pepper SMS-2 6/10/08 Dear Writeheart,

You once again wrote a great poem, “As Simple As Pushing One From The Stairs.” Your format really seemed to fit this poem,
“Talk
Sprint
Play
Hint!
A second step fades into my peripheral vision.”
You had great word choice, “How many people does it take to rip a life asunder?” Also, your poem had a great metaphor too, like with, “I slid from the fifth step, and fall back to none.” You conveyed what can happen to you in life in a very nice way. Awesome job!

Sincerely,
Salt and Pepper
SMS-2
6/10/08

]]> Comment on Snowflakes by stu032 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/22/snowflakes/#comment-545 stu032 Tue, 10 Jun 2008 11:43:41 +0000 http://literacyworkshop.org/wpmu/rallen/2008/05/22/snowflakes/#comment-545 Dear PiRsquared, Your poem, “Snowflakes,” was amazing. “So intricate it’s hard to believe,” shows your great sensory word choice. “Snowflakes gently falling,” is something I can connect to. I have seen lite snowstorms before. “They come in many shapes and forms, All perfect as can be,” shows your wonderful voice. Awesome Job! Sincerely, Salt and Pepper SMS-2 6/10/08 Dear PiRsquared,

Your poem, “Snowflakes,” was amazing. “So intricate it’s hard to believe,” shows your great sensory word choice. “Snowflakes gently falling,” is something I can connect to. I have seen lite snowstorms before. “They come in many shapes and forms, All perfect as can be,” shows your wonderful voice. Awesome Job!

Sincerely,
Salt and Pepper
SMS-2
6/10/08

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